why we do what we do.

I have a friend who lives abroad. I occasionally covet her experiences. I was just reading a letter from her, looking at photos and videos on her blog, and wondering how I ended up here, in the snow, with a sore back from shoveling and feet heavy with winter boots. I went to college on the North Shore, and friends and an acting gig kept me here. Life kept a-living, and now I'm still here. My brother just returned State-side from years abroad, traveling through innumerable countries. His pictures of the Himalayas, ancient Roman theatres, and hiking through clouds, make me twitch with a desire to be the one taking the photos and posting them for family back home to see. Yet, I am not disappointed in my decision to stay, to be present here, and I am in constant awe of what continues to come to fruition.

So, why am I here? How do I find purpose in the midst of such tension? My focus within my theatre arts degree was acting and political theatre, but the challenge of developing purposeful theatre programming within my community was- and continues to be- incredibly appealing. So, I was hired to "start a theatre program" for the YMCA of the North Shore. We are well on our way and its all very exciting, but most of all, more than anything, I am passionate about the students involved in the programming. The power of theatre to cultivate their spirits, help them find their voices and realize that their words have worth- that is the most beautifully overwhelming aspect of my job.

Finding a Method

As a college student, I learned to find the "beats" within every scene of a script- thoughts the dialogue follows and the moment where each shift of thought occurs. Then I learned to look within each "beat," and find characters' intentions and an obstacles. Intentions are what the characters want, and obstacles are the things keeping the desire unattainable. Once I find all these, I can start moving on the stage- adding blocking to the mix.

Beats.
Intentions and obstacles.
Blocking.

These are integral concepts to how I think, both as a theatre professional and as a person in general. I have a plaque on my wall that says "This life is not a dress rehearsal." Unfortunately, I do not get to read through my own life-script; figure out my beats, intentions, and obstacles before putting them to action. But I can look at my life and find them as I go, maintain a sensitivity to the shifts and changes that string my beats into scenes and songs, weeks and years, relationships and communities. In doing so, I consider my intentions, my obstacles, my blocking. There are days when I intend to talk to my sister on the phone and the obstacle is everything, or everyone, that can suddenly fill up a day. There are days when I intend to love more and the obstacle is my own selfishness. There are times when we intend ________ and can't because of __________. And how do we move because of it?

This method of acting, of living, is all about informing our movements. Its about the why and the how blocking our lives.

Beats.
Intentions and obstacles.
Blocking.
Repeat. Again. And again. And again.
Until you reach The End.